


No Exit: The Entrance

by SG1SamFan (LemonScience33)



Category: Huis Clos | No Exit - Sartre, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Crack Pairing, Gingerbatch, Humor, Multi, POV First Person, Parody, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Unresolved Sexual Tension, WARNING: casual reference to past infanticide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 10:17:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/660811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonScience33/pseuds/SG1SamFan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A porn parody. This is a cracky "alternate ending" to Jean-Paul Sartre’s <i>No Exit</i> (Huis Clos), a French existentialist play about three characters trapped in hell together. This version stars Benedict Cumberbatch as Garcin, Katee Sackhoff as Inez, Christina Hendricks as Estelle, and Gaila as The Maid.</p><p>Estelle’s POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Exit: The Entrance

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by insomnia, my proclivity for redheads, and some lively conversations during rehearsal for a production of _No Exit._
> 
> WARNING for a casual mention of infanticide. (These are awful people, remember?)

_No Exit: The Entrance_

A love scene starring…

Benedict Cumberbatch as Garcin

__

Katee Sackhoff as Inez

Christina Hendricks as Estelle

Gaila as The Maid

 

* * *

My name is Estelle. I'm in hell because I killed a baby.

I can’t begin to tell you how relieved I was when I saw that the door opened. It was getting boring in here, and I was horny as hell.

Garcin rang the bell for the maid, and it didn’t work, but she came to the door anyway. ‘Hi,’ she said sexily. ‘I came to fix your broken bell. Also you ordered a pizza so I brought it.’

I looked at the maid’s sexy green skin. It had been so long since I’d seen an Orion slave girl.

Under the hell-lights, her lovely skin almost appeared to glimmer like a Twilight vampire but with green emeralds embedded in her skin instead of diamonds. I felt my loins begin to burn.

‘Oh man,’ says Inez with her wide mouth spreading into an obscene grin. ‘It’s super hot from the hot hell-air coming in. Let’s take off all our clothing.’

We did.

I had been wearing a 1940s style green dress that matched the maid’s green skin, and I noticed that my breasts were like two round globes on my chest. I hoped Garcin found them sexy because I was getting sick of hell and I needed to get laid.

We were naked now. The maid was green everywhere. Hell was looking pretty good.

Inez started kissing the Maid, and I looked at Garcin and I was like, ‘I like your hair,’ and he said, ‘yeah gingers are pretty sexy,’ and he grabbed my large breast and we started making out.

Then we all four put our faces together and touched our tongues together like the Four Musketeers.

I took the letter opener and started tickling Inez with it. She was super turned on by now, obviously.

Garcin bent us over the back of his couch and put our asses in a row, and then he went down the line and stuck his thingie one by one in each of our hoo-has, and I looked at the Maid and I was like, ‘This is awesome.’

We had so much sex. All the sex. I might describe it later if I feel like it.

And then we ate the pizza. It was delicious.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I imagine no one will ever read this. XD So if you do, please leave kudos or a comment so I know you're out there somewhere.


End file.
